Monthly Archives: May 2012

Protected: Sweet girls

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On Mother’s Day

I have written about Mother’s Day many times…here I go again.

This year I keep coming across other bereaved moms expressing how I feel – and I can’t tell you what a comfort that is to me.  The bittersweet, the empty arms, the missing child in the photo, the desire to avoid church and all its hoopla that day.

I recently found a group of bereaved moms here in town.  That has been a huge blessing because I just need to be in their company from time to time – to be with other moms who understand.  We are having a mother’s day brunch on Saturday.  At that table we will be completely comfortable with our shared discomfort with Mother’s Day.  What a relief!

Kudos to Luke who is coming home from a week of travel late tonight and leaving again on a red-eye Sunday night for being more than willing to run the girls around to and fro so I can attend.

Kitchen Done!

The kitchen has been done for a week or two.  It is so nice to have it finished and the extra bonus was that we were waiting on wood floors in the family room until we re-did our kitchen and so we are enjoying those very much.  We now have wood throughout the lower level and love the flow it gives the house.

BEFORE

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AFTER

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Day to day with grief

I am sitting in the car waiting…by a house that has been stucco’d.  So I think back to when my house was stucco’d and I remember how it was being done as Nathan was dying.  I remember when it was all finished we took him outside, on a very sunny day, to see it, because he was housebound at the time  He couldn’t walk anymore and so had to be carried and the act of being carried hurt him and the sun was too bright.  I tear up thinking of it all as Julia walks towards the car and smiles and me.  Thankfully I am wearing sunglasses so I do my best to smile back.

So – that is how it goes…just about any normal mundane thing in life can remind me of pain and suffering and death. It is just part of my life now.