Monthly Archives: May 2011

May 1-8, 2011

We had quite the busy week last week.

It started on May 1, the Sunday after Easter.  Our church remembers those who died the year before on that day.  Our friend MaryAnn has dubbed it “dead people Sunday”.  Ever since Nathan’s name was read at that service 3 years ago, I have not wanted to relive it.  So – we skip.  We invited MaryAnn who does not like D.P.S. either to join us for breakfast out – which was great.  That evening we had our usual Sunday night dinner with our friends (two other families).  We always enjoy that!

Monday held school and ballet after school.  Tuesday Lauren had violin and Julia started cello.  I also helped out in Julia’s class (which I do every Tuesday).  Wednesday afternoon Lauren had a mother’s day party at preschool and Wednesday night I had a 3.5 hour meeting for the Children’s Museum we are trying to build.  Thursday night I took Julia with me to choir rehearsal so she could rehearse her solo with the choir.  As it turned out the choir’s “oohing” was a little complex and we spent a lot of time on it.  It was hard for Julia to hear her part on the third verse with our “oohs”.  She had complete confidence and got up in front of everyone and sang by herself with the piano first.    She only got shy when the choir director started joking around about how much money she was going to make in the future and how he’d be her agent.  She couldn’t stand the attention and turned red and put her head down…poor thing.  When it came to singing though…no shyness at all!

Friday the girls had their dance dress rehearsal.  As usual the steaming and pinning of costumes took a while as did the hair. This year Julia needed a low bun (harder that a regular one because there is less hair to work with when it is low) and Lauren needed two french braids!  Those french braids took at least 20 minutes for me.  I was also a mother helper backstage,  I try to do that in the spring.  After the dress rehearsal we went out for pizza.

Saturday we had our first real warm day of the season and worked outside int he backyard most of the morning.  I took Lauren to a group violin lesson and then came home and started working on costumes and hair again for the recital.  After the recital we bought the girls some Dairy Queen and shopped for dinner.  We had our first dinner outside on the patio of the season.

On Sunday, Julia and I got up bright and early to go to church for the soundcheck.  She and I sung two services and then headed home.  I proceeded to read and relax outside for most of the afternoon and then Luke and I made a dinner of steak, salmon, potatoes and asparagus and ate again outside.

Julia did a great job singing.  Not perfect, of course, but really well for a nine year old who has not had much training.  I was a nervous wreck singing next to her.  In retrospect it may have been better if I had not sang that morning because I was trying to pay attention to her if she needed me to prompt her for anything and still sing my part, which we had just learned a few nights before and so didn’t really know well enough to look up much.  Of course, the camera angle had much of me on it, as nervous as I was, and I usually like to look a lot more relaxed and joyful when I sing, but it was all I could do to breathe.

She (and I and Luke) got many, many complements and it was wonderful to have her sitting next to me in the choir loft on Mother’s Day.  She proclaimed the whole experience as “fun”, which is the best outcome!

A little more grief has been rearing its head now that the week is over, with all its performances as such.  With Nathan’s birthday and date of death being in the summer – there is a certain apprehension.  I do see a overall curve, if you will, of grief and I can look back a bit now and see that the grief is not as intense, which is great.  This is NOT to say I am “over it” or have “moved on”, just dealing with it better overall. That also does not mean I don’t have bad days, or weeks, but that they are less frequent, and I am grateful for that.


I have been slowly working on our family pictures and making photo books (digitally) to preserve them.  I take a lot of pictures so each book is 1-3 months.  When Nathan got sick, our friend Lori, took it upon herself to scrapbook for us and made many books for us.  Not too long after Nathan’s death, I took over and have been working on them one by one.  I watch for sales and when there is a good one, I make the next book. I recently finished May 2007.

So – here I am, staring right at June, July and August 2007.  I have several dilemmas.  Which pictures do I include?  There are a few pictures, taken 10 days or so before Nathan’s death that I keep in a separate folder so as not to accidentally have them pop up on my screensaver.  I have only looked at them a few times.  I don’t even know if I posted them on here – they are terrible to see, not gruesome or anything, just the reality of death approaching and cancer taking over.  Some earlier in the month also show this, but at least he is still doing something and not just lying on the couch in pain.

As far as the funeral goes, there are no pictures really…I was given one of my dad holding Lauren at the reception.  I think I will include a scan of the funeral program.  That pretty much explains it.

And then, starting in August – the pictures go on, without Nathan.

Yeah, maybe mother’s day weekend is not the time to work on them….


I pair of robins has made our backyard their spring home.  More specifically, our outside table and window sill.  I haven’t seen a nest anywhere, but the female spends all her time looking inside our family room.  I wonder if they are trying to figure out how to get inside to build a nest.  They have also tried tapping on  the window to get in.  The dog’s water bowl is their water source.

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