I went to choir rehearsal last night. It had been quite a while. I missed a lot of choir this summer due to travel and Luke’s business travel. Then, in the last few weeks, I have wanted to hibernate at home. Whenever I start feeling myself go into the grief place I need to be alone and since I am rarely ever alone I try to avoid places with lots of people. Church and choir are certainly places with lots of people! Our church has thousands of members and the choir about 150. We went to church last week but went to the contemporary service which happens at the same time as one of the traditional services the choir sings in and so I only saw a few people I knew.
Last night, so many people were genuinely happy to see me. They knew I had been gone and were glad I was there. I was surprised by this. I guess that just shows where I am right now. It was a really good feeling and it underscores what I know deep down, that choir is good for my soul in so many ways. I need to push myself to go even when I am uncertain about going.
So, thank you to any Big Blue folks who might be reading this and Carol L, you were right, of course and I will keep going and be OK with missing every once in a while when I just need to.