Monthly Archives: July 2010

Last part of July

Somehow my soul seems to know when big grief moments are arriving even before my mind does. Three years ago must have been a bad day. I could look at the journal and find out but I know. He died 2 weeks later. It is hot and sunny. It is bright, like the day he died and Luke carried his body out into the blinding sunlight to the hearse/van. I just can’t avoid the feelings that come up this time of year.


When I was five I started cello lessons and then piano lessons soon after that. I also was in a children’s choir for many years. I always promised myself that I would do the same for my children. Julia missed out on the early start mainly due to Nathan’s illness and death and my subsequent early grief. I finally got her started with voice lessons this spring and we just added piano with the same teacher and extended the lesson. She did well at her first lesson yesterday and I am hopeful her “late” start is OK (she is 8).

Lauren told me she wanted to play the violin and I found her a good teacher pretty quickly. Her teacher requires that for the little ones (she is 4.5) a parent must learn along for a while. So – I am about to embark on violin lessons. My parents had my brother’s old full-size violin in their closet for about 25 years. I brought it home from their house and took it to a repair shop. Today I finally picked it up and attempted to play it.

I think I did OK but it just made me wish for a cello! I don’t have one anymore and a decent one is around $1000 so I am not just going to go out and buy one. I was trying to figure out how to play vibrato on the violin and am a bit dismayed the technique seems to be very different from the cello. I held the violin like a cello and could do it.

However, since I am now to learn violin I need to get over wishing it was a cello. A violin is much more portable. I am hoping that I can make quick progress and enjoy it. I have no doubt I can do what I need to for the sake of helping Lauren but I am kind of hoping to elevate my playing of it for my own enjoyment. We’ll see…off to my first lesson tomorrow.

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