Past Life

I just went into the crawl space to rummage for a document and came across some things from college.

It has been 15 years last month since I graduated (ouch!)

I’ve been a stay at home mom for 9 years now.  Sometimes I forget about my accomplishments in my “past life”.

I found these two documents and it was nice relive some of the pride I used to have in my academic achievements.  In high school I was an A and B student.  Nothing great.  I didn’t expect anything better in college.

A little background..I went to college to major in pharmacy.  By the end of the first semester I was fairly certain that wasn’t what I should be doing but I didn’t know what I should major in instead.  My family were math/science people and that is what I knew . A quick aside to say that my mother taught biology and she was teaching out of the exact textbook I was using at my college for biology and even with her help I still scraped out a lowly C.  My mom suggested I take an accounting course at the local community college that summer to see what it was about and so I did and I liked it.  I then enrolled in one at college and it clicked.  I missed a total of one question on all three exams combined and two on the final. I was still in the school of pharmacy at the time and they sent this letter to me.

The higher level classes I took, the more I liked my major and the better grades I got.  My GPA went up and up but I had some not as stellar grades from my first year in college.  I knew I was on the brink of graduating with honors but did not know if it would happen.  As I lined up in the armory on graduation day I was handed an envelope with this letter in it.  It was one of my proudest moments in life thus far.

I went on to have more career achievements before I stopped working to be a stay at home mom.  It seems at times I can’t really remember that person.  I don’t know what the future holds but it is nice to remember I once was really good at something.  If I were graded on my stay at home motherhood abilities I think I would get a C or so.  I can do it fine, but it doesn’t just click with my like accounting did.

9 responses to “Past Life

  1. While I did not have the academic greatness that you did, I, too, can not remember who I was once upon a time, before tragic events shaped my life, not once but twice.

  2. As a long time fan and follower of both sites, I would easily give you an A+ as a mother. You have done a wonderful job with your 3 kids under some terrible circumstances.Rita

  3. I echo exactly what Rita said. I, too, would give you an A+. You are an amazingly wonderful mother. You clearly show the love you have for your children.I hope you have a wonderful weekend!!!

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. I often wonder whether I would even recognize the "me" 15 years ago… I, too, started out as an Econ major then hated it with a passion (my dad is still a world reknown economist) and got Bs and Cs (a first in my academic life) then when I started studying antropology, things just seemed to "fall together." Every book I read made sense, and those that didn't, intrigued me.Years later, after I became a pretty good and saught after ad exec in NYC, I felt truely proud of myself, never doubting the decisions I made, never underestimating, never second guessing, never laying awake at night wondering where I went wrong etc. I would get an A+.So, I understand how you know, yourself, that you are doing fine being a mom and getting groceries and using paper instead of plastic etc etc. but the fact that nothing you do will ever satisfy yourself as a mother is bound to make you feel a bit "out of it." I yearn for the day that I don't second guess myself about a trivial thing regarding the kids or my life as a "housewife." So I basically let go, and leave the house a mess, the checkbook unbalanced and try and focus on accepting other "more important" sorry – for some reason my computer seems NOT TO logout from gmail accounts – that was me with the deleted comment 😛

  6. Thank you for the terrific post. Thanks for the story, the letters, and the insight into you.

  7. It is nice to have those kinds of things to linger over for bit. I've been sort of feeling like I'm doing C work lately too, which I think makes that stuff a little sweeter.

  8. Dude. You would definitely get a much higher mark than a C. Those are awesome letters to add to your life's CV.

  9. I'm surprised you said "once" good at something. I think your achievements as a mom will far exceed anything you could have ever accomplished scholastically or professionally. Congrats on the graduation with distinction, that is great!

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