Enough time has passed since my most recent freak out about Lauren’s health that it is time for another one. As I have discussed before, I have a very hard time having any kind of perspective on her state of health. I go back and forth between underreacting and overracting when she is not feeling well.
She is just so very petite. I can encircle her wrist with my thumb and forefinger with a good bit of overlap – it’s like the diameter of a quarter. I can fairly easily span her waist with my thumbs and middle fingers. She is also very pale.
So, when she is under the weather, so really is under the weather. I suspect she just doesn’t have a lot of reserves. She has had a cough for several weeks now and then she was throwing up with a fever on our trip. Now she has a rash under her nose and purple veins showing under her eyes which make her look a bit like she has black eyes, which is an automatic panic symptom since it was one of Nathan’s first symptoms. Now, she does not have the kind of black eye he had, not even close – it just isn’t something I like to even think about.
I know she is just having trouble getting rid of her cold. She is a bit congested and may be having sinus issues. Yesterday she was super cranky and then was sent to her room where she fell asleep. Luke got her up for a snack and then she slept on him for a while longer. All these thing can be easily explained. She’s had a cold, a virus, been travelling and lacking sleep.
Still – I just get panicked to think there could be anything more severe wrong with her. A visit to her doctor is probably in her future this week. For my sake.
These things have been bothering me but I have been trying to let them go, but tonight, Luke commented on the eyes and somehow that makes it worse that he noticed because maybe it is more valid. So, now the freak out is in full force.
I just have to add that I don’t feel this way about Julia for several reasons. She is very robust and somehow, since she grew up with Nathan through it all she passed a lot of the milestones and age ranges while we were busy with him and so I didn’t have time to freak about about her and now she is so big and so healthy. Lauren is young, like Nathan was, and so her issues just trigger the response in me.