It’s that time again

Enough time has passed since my most recent freak out about Lauren’s health that it is time for another one. As I have discussed before, I have a very hard time having any kind of perspective on her state of health. I go back and forth between underreacting and overracting when she is not feeling well.

She is just so very petite. I can encircle her wrist with my thumb and forefinger with a good bit of overlap – it’s like the diameter of a quarter. I can fairly easily span her waist with my thumbs and middle fingers. She is also very pale.

So, when she is under the weather, so really is under the weather. I suspect she just doesn’t have a lot of reserves. She has had a cough for several weeks now and then she was throwing up with a fever on our trip. Now she has a rash under her nose and purple veins showing under her eyes which make her look a bit like she has black eyes, which is an automatic panic symptom since it was one of Nathan’s first symptoms. Now, she does not have the kind of black eye he had, not even close – it just isn’t something I like to even think about.

I know she is just having trouble getting rid of her cold. She is a bit congested and may be having sinus issues. Yesterday she was super cranky and then was sent to her room where she fell asleep. Luke got her up for a snack and then she slept on him for a while longer. All these thing can be easily explained. She’s had a cold, a virus, been travelling and lacking sleep.

Still – I just get panicked to think there could be anything more severe wrong with her. A visit to her doctor is probably in her future this week. For my sake.

These things have been bothering me but I have been trying to let them go, but tonight, Luke commented on the eyes and somehow that makes it worse that he noticed because maybe it is more valid. So, now the freak out is in full force.

I just have to add that I don’t feel this way about Julia for several reasons. She is very robust and somehow, since she grew up with Nathan through it all she passed a lot of the milestones and age ranges while we were busy with him and so I didn’t have time to freak about about her and now she is so big and so healthy. Lauren is young, like Nathan was, and so her issues just trigger the response in me.

7 responses to “It’s that time again

  1. I can’t blame you one bit.Who could? Love, Bobby

  2. It is totally understandable that you have those fears:(I was wondering reading your post if Lauren doesn’t have allergies? My son is 7 and he has had allergy/asthma issues that have thankfully decreased with time. Lately he has been having headaches though, which I think is sinus related. When he was younger he had the dark circles under his eyes, which his pediatrician referred to in laymans terms as “allergy shiners”. That is what I thought of when I read about Laurens. “Allergy shiners” are very common in kids with allergies, espeically younger/lighter colored kids. I hope she starts feeling better soon and you can get some peace of mind.(((hugs)))Rita

  3. You are all in my thoughts and prayers. One thing that comes to mind is whether Lauren takes vitamins. Maybe this would help her recover faster — just give her a little boost. Hope your day is good. I pray for peace of mind for you. I have suffered from some panic attacks lately and understand how terrible they are. God bless you — Katie

  4. Well, it also doesn’t help that it’s so close to April 1st either! I think maybe it’s time to do that bloodwork you’ve been not wanting to put her through. Your peace of mind maybe worth a few seconds of her discomfort. Hugs to you both!

  5. Your feeling are very understandable. I think I would be paranoid too–wait a minute, I am paranoid already, for no good reason except knowing bad stuff happens to really nice kids like Nathan. I need reality checks from friends too. I hope your writing about it helped release some of the worry–and I hope too it helps knowing you have such a great DR to turn to for perspective!

  6. Unfortunately this makes perfect sense! 🙂 I’ve taken my healthy daughter to the dr for growing pains in her legs. I’ve taken her for headaches more than once. The list goes on. And when she really does get sick, my mind can’t help but ‘go there’ sometimes. So you aren’t alone!~kay

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