Bad parents

This is going to be one of those things Julia tells later in life to explain how much her parents didn’t really love her!

Luke and I have been wanting to plan a trip away together. We are WAY overdue. We last spent a night alone without kids in 2004. Considering everything that has happened in our life since then we really need that time together.

We narrowed our time frame down to January as there are some obligations for Luke in February and then things get busy in March with some other things. We wanted a Thursday through Tuesday to maximize the weekend and flights. There were a few other factors that narrowed it down to Jan 22 – 27. We talked about it figured out where we were going (mexico) and checked with my parents on dates and then I booked it.

I walked down to the basement to get the confirmation off of the printer. I picked it up and looked at it. At that moment Jan 22 for the FIRST time registered as JULIA’S BIRTHDAY. Whoops! I don’t know how I could have forgetten my child’s birthday, but I did. Thank goodness we will at least see her on her birthday. She will get tons of attention from my parents.

We told her a few days ago and she seemed OK but a day or two later asked why did we HAVE to leave on her birthday. I kind of lamely explained to her but there is no real excuse.

I remember being so upset to be stuck in New York for her second birthday. She doesn’t know that I missed that one. This is just another thing on the long list of things that the neglected middle child has put on her. She has basically the worst case of middle child. Her older sibling is dead, her younger sibling is a mama’s girl and her mom “missed” all that time with her from ages 14 months through 6 that she sees her little sister getting.

We are not going to change it. She will be able to tell the story about how her parents left her and went to Mexico on her seventh birthday. I pray that is the worst thing she can say about her parents (but I highly doubt it will be). We probably need to start a therapy fund.

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10 responses to “Bad parents

  1. I haven’t been a parent for very long, but I say, yeah for bad parenting. You have to put yourself first sometimes.Oh, and maybe this will make you feel better. From the blog, Didn’t I Feed You Yesterday:”I missed my daughter’s high school graduation ceremony because I chose instead to be a contestant on a reality show.”

  2. I am so glad you and Luke are taking some time to have fun together. Kyle and I also badly need to do this. I had actually been thinking about how much we need this when I saw your blog. Hopefully this will motivate me into action!!Have a fabulous time!!– katie

  3. You will be bringing her home the gift of rejuvinated parents who value their marriage…there is no better gift for a child.

  4. I have been thinking of you, knowing Julia’s B’day was coming up and that she is turning 7, the same age sweet Nathan turned just a month and a half before he died. That must be very hard for you. If you are going to see her in the morning, is there time to do a cake, gift? Who says you can’t have a cake for breakfast! 🙂 That way she will feel like you were there for her birthday for the important part. Then make sure her grandparents have something really fun planned to take her mind off you guys leaving. I hope you have a wonderful trip. You and Luke deserve it.Rita

  5. Ditto to what Tammy said!! HAPPY parents make GOOD parents. Having forgotten her birthday is an indicator that you NEED this vacation badly LOL. I think if you make a big deal about it before you leave, she’ll get over it. It’s just 1 day out of 364 days a year and you really can celebrate it anytime! 😉

  6. Ditto to what Myndi said! You both need this badly! I hope you have a fabulous time! 🙂

  7. Do you parents live close by? If not (like they are having to come in for the “Birthday”). Point out if she brings it up that while you will be gone – your mom the one that took care of you gets the excitement of being the “birthday girl’s stand in mom”. Remind her how we grandmas love this because our little girls are all grown up. Then bring her back something from Mexico over and above what you would normally bring back – wrapped in birthday paper or in birthday gift bag (left in your car just for such an occasion) and you have turned it into a “Birthday to remember for the excitement of it!” Make sure you celebrate with a great birthday breakfast and the night before ……….but I promise she will survive!

  8. Don’t stress… You have plenty of time before and after to celebrate her birthday!and I’m sure she will never be upset that you loved her big brother so much and did all you can for him!Besides- who remembers much from 14 mos to 6 years- not me! ENJOY!!!!

  9. I don’t think you are bad parents, hardly. Bring her something extra special back from Mexico and I’m sure it will be ok. Have a great trip, you guys definitely deserve it.

  10. Don’t worry, my parents missed my zeroeth birthday. Well, my mother kinda had to be there, but my dad refused to go to the hospital, and when I was born she (of her own account) took one look at me and said I was the ugliest baby ever, and then the nurses took me away. So you can send me Julia to me for respite if she gets hissy as a teenager… We’ll have lots of middle child things to talk about.Joking aside, she did get dealt a pretty crappy hand that way… But from one middle child to another, I believe in her.

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