A little while ago I asked Lauren when she wanted for her birthday. I was expecting some hemming and hawing from her but she very quickly said “A rubber duck!”
I told her that we actually had several rubber ducks upstairs in the tub and now she is hemming and hawing.
I have no clue where she got that one from!
So – I just don’t know how to have a normal reaction to childhood illness. I guess it is not surprising but I just don’t know how I will get through the rest of my girls’ childhoods. It seems when I see some kind of symptoms I initially overreact, but then when I start thinking about it maybe I underreact just so that I am not overreacting. I have lost sight of what a “normal” parent would be concerned about.
As usual, I am concerned about Lauren. She is always tired. She walks around saying “I am So So So tired”. She probably does not get enough sleep, but still – what almost three year old says that! She is pale, she has dark circles under her eyes. Well – at times I was a pale child with dark circles under my eyes – so that is probably just genetic.
Today after preschool she looked wiped out so I asked her what was the matter. She said ” My breathing is just hard today”. What does that mean? I checked her out in my mommy way – I counted her respirations and listened to her breathe with my ear on her back. I looked at her lips and nails to see if they were at all bluish. I took her temperature. All were normal. I wish I had a pulse-ox thingy. If you recall, she had to have an echocardiogram about a year ago due to a very pronounced heart murmer. The doctor said she was just fine. I wonder though.
I was tempted to take her to the doctor after that comment but that is when I get so screwed up and feel like I have no perspective. She has an appt. on Nov. 18 for her three year checkup. I am going to voice my concerns and request they test her hemoglobin. So – I am just trying to wait until then. Meanwhile I am afraid maybe there is something wrong with her and I shouldn’t wait. But, there is nothing I hate more than taking a child to the doctor and having them tell me she is perfectly fine. I feel like an idiot. Plus, it is only a few weeks until that appointment, would I then need another appointment for the three year appointment?
As an aside, my friend Sherry, who is president of the non-profit I am working with and whose daughter died of neuroblastoma, is in the hospital with another of her daughters. Her daughter was on the bus and the bus driver was egged on by the kids to go over a dip fast and she did and this little girl hit her head on the ceiling and landed on her abdomen and lacerated her liver. Beside the obvious horrors of this accident she is having a hard time being in the hospital with another daughter. I went to visit her on Sunday and it sucked just to be visiting. As I have said before, the universe is not fair and losing a child does not make your other kids immune. I wish it would. Her daughter is expected to recover fully, thank god.
I won’t bother linking back but 2 years ago I killed my laptop. I lost everything on it. I tried everything to get the data back and read all the silly tricks. None worked.
About a month ago my current laptop’s hard drive died. I had the computer out and about with me and when I got home and took it out it said “no hard drive detected” I took it out, but it back in, hooked it up to our desktop and it was just dead. I bought a new hard drive and went on from there. I had backed up data in May and had most everything I needed. Pictures are always backed up and in mulitple places so I am not at risk of losing those ever. As a side note to that, one of my pieces of advice to people with all their pictures digital is that next time you are going to visit good friends or family out of town, make a backup of all your pictures and bring them with you. Leave them with you family. Now you have off-site backup
Now – back to my story. Yesterday I left my laptop (running) on my bed for a good part of the day. Later in the afternoon I brought it downstairs and put it on the coffee table. After dinner I walked over to it just as it was trying to reboot and got the dreaded no hard drive message. I popped the hard drive out and it was very hot to the touch. I put it back in and tried to boot again with no avail. I remembered one of those weird hard drive recovery hints – putting the hard drive in the freezer. So – I popped it in the freezer for about 15 minutes until it was cool and then put it back into my laptop and it booted right up. I backed up my files and turned it off again. Today it is working just fine. I will be watching the temperature from now on. Crazy!
I sat in a coffee shop reading for a little while (When You are Engulfed in Flames, David Sedaris). I was the only customer in there for most of the time and then a friend of the sole employee arrived and they sat chatting. I sipped my coffee and read my book and didn’t hear a word they said. I then decided to get up and leave and the friend apologized saying she was sorry if she was driving me away because they were talking about strippers. I told them I was reading and had not even heard them but I am not sure they believed me. As I rolled away in my minivan I am guessing they thought they offended me. I could have cared less if they were talking about strippers. What would have driven me away would have been if they were talking about how much they loved the presidential candidate I am not voting for and bashed the one I did vote for. I’d rather hear ANYTHING but politics right now!
I have tried to keep politics out of my blog – especially since a few of the blogs I read are not keeping it out and I disagree so strongly with these people it makes it hard to read their blogs now and may change my view of them in the future. So – I don’t want to do the same to my readers. However – I am curious how my readers are voting. So – please make your choice in my poll (in the sidebar) and if you leave a comment – please don’t talk politics!
I sold our crib and changing table yesterday. They served us well for 8 years and three kids. They were good quality. One of the few arguments Luke and I have ever had was over that crib set. He thought it was too expensive. I accused him of wanting our unborn first child to sleep in a cardboard box.
Lauren is almost three! Where did the years go.
I have seen caricatures of women who keep things in their bra/cleavage. I have seen it in the movies. I never thought I’d see it at ballet class – by a woman my age, no less. I heard a cell phone ring, looked over at her and she promptly reached into her cleavage, extracted her phone and answered. Oh-Kay….