Of Cemeteries on Halloween

It’s Halloween – where better to spend time than in a cemetery.

That is where Luke and I went this morning. If you recall my post, My Closet, we had a decision to make about Nathan’s remains. A few weeks ago it occurred to me that perhaps we could inter Nathan’s ashes. As time has been going by, the thought of having an urn somewhere in our house has become less and less appealing to us. We also felt that should we ever move from here, we might not want to leave his remains behind. So – we needed a solution.

The week before last, when I had a child-free morning, I drove down to the cemetery to see what the options were. It is a huge cemetery and I got lost and didn’t find all the places I was looking for. I did drive by a row of children’s graves. There were “Happy Birthday” balloons and stuffed animals. Seeing those helped to cement the fact that we did not want that. I completely understand why people do want to have graves for their children and spend time there and decorate. However, that thought is very unappealing to Luke and I. Nathan is not there and will never be there so we don’t feel like we will be “visiting him” there. We want a “resting place” and a dignified place for his remains. Can I just say, thank goodness Luke and I both feel the exact same way about this???? Can you imagine if we had different feelings about what to do with his remains.

While wandering, I found what we wanted; a columbarium. This particular one is located near a very old stone chapel and is surrounded by large trees. I apologize that, though I brought cameras both times, I still have failed to take a picture of it. It has four sides and is 4 drawers across and 7 down. It has a reddish marble front to be engraved with the name.

So – Luke and I went down there this morning and purchased a niche in the columbarium. We also gave them Nathan’s remains for safekeeping in their vault until the engraving is done and it is ready for interment. The person (of whose occupational title I couldn’t hazard a guess) tried to encourage us to hold a ceremony of sorts when they inter the remains. For many reasons, we are probably not going to do that. We will take the girls over when it is done and show it to them.

I think that I feel a sense of relief that this is done. My friend offered to keep Lauren the whole morning, so after Luke and I were done at the cemetery we had some time together. We bought Luke an early Christmas present. It was a typical retail therapy kind of thing so it made us both feel good and I know he is going to enjoy it immensely. I’ll leave it to him to blog about it at some point. We got a nice lunch afterwards and then I hurried off to attend Julia’s school party. It was a little unsettling attending a kindergarten party after what I had been doing this morning – but that is the way life is.

Tonight, in typical Colorado fashion, it is expected to rain, snow or ice during prime trick or treating hours. It should be fun either way. The girls had a party on Saturday and the weather was beautiful then and I took some nice pictures already without all the bundling up. I’ll share some tomorrow.

4 responses to “Of Cemeteries on Halloween

  1. Hi Susan,I don’t know what to say but I think it’s a lovely idea and I’m sure it is a beautiful place. I’m glad you and Luke had some time alone together. 😉

  2. I think it’s a fine idea for a resting place. You already know he is in heaven, and I am glad that the two are in agreement. What a terribly hard thing to do. You are so very brave. Luke too.

  3. Wow Luke’s early Christmas present is SHARP! As I told Luke glad decisions were made and are now behind you. Be sure to post pictures of the girls.

  4. “Can you imagine if we had different feelings about what to do with his remains.”My dad has been making funeral plans, and decided that there is no way my brothers and I could agree on what to do with his ashes. So, his plan is to create three sets of ashes so we each can have one.I told my mom that my brother’s will just end up on the passenger’s side floor of his car under fast food wrappers.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s