Thou shall…

**** Updated below

So – we got a call from the Hospice Chaplain yesterday. She wanted to pick a time to meet with us. I told her that I needed to talk to my husband because we are not sure we will want chaplain services. She seemed flummoxed and told me that we had to meet with her at least once because she had to document in the case file our “spiritual something-or-other”.

Huh? I mean we can’t refuse to meet with her? If/when we decide we want chaplain services we have two resources we will use first. One, our own church or two, a friend of the family who is a minister at a local church. People we actually have MET before. We have let enough strangers in our house, like the nurse and nurse practitioner and we are working with the social worker, whom we didn’t know. That is enough extra people we don’t know to share our feelings with! (not talking about all you people I don’t know..I don’t have to look you in the eye).

What if we were not at all religious. Would they still insist we meet with her? Geez! Talk about adding stress at a difficult time.

I put the chaplain off until today. I guess I will call the social worker today and ask her what the deal is and possibly have her deal with it. We may be getting a reputation as a difficult family. Oh well.

*** update

So we talked to the nurse this morning and she said she could let the chaplain know we did not want her services. Great – out of our hands.

Well – she didn’t get to it soon enough because I just got a call…

“This is “Pushy” the chaplain from hospice, did you get a chance to talk to Lucas about my visit?”
“Yes, we talked to the nurse about it this morning and we have decided that we don’t need the chaplain services. We have other resources for chaplain support and we decided we didn’t need to add another person we don’t know to the mix”
“Well, we usually like to have at least one visit with the family”
“Well – that is not what WE want.”
“Ok – well let the nurse know if you change your mind”
“Ok, we will”

Pushy chaplains – who would have though.

6 responses to “Thou shall…

  1. “It’s a LAW? Because if it’s not written in a law book and enforceable by the Police….We don’t have to do anything”Would have been my response.Sounds like 1 she’s in the wrong profession or 2 she’s really new at her job so all T’s must be crossed and I’s dotted… I’m afraid I would want to stick with my own KNOWN SPIRITUAL LEADER also.Know I’m praying for y’all – which isn’t much comfort but I hope it at least helps a little.

  2. Who cares if you’re looking like a “difficult” family! This is all about Nathan and your Family’s wishes. NOT what others want to push on you. I am so sorry you have this added stress. As always, thinking and praying for you all. (((HUGS)))

  3. Ordinarily, I would cut a person some slack for not keeping the big picture in mind. I mean, she clearly has some paperwork complete or procedure to adhere to or whatever. But, she’s a hopsice chaplain. Totally weird that she react in such a way. There are about a million better ways to phrase things, including several that would still try to make the mandatory visit.So strange.

  4. omigosh. what a strange person to be in such a sensitive position.

  5. Yes, there are a thousand ways she could have made that easier, and the top 500 or so would have begun with, “Oh, I’m sorry, well if there’s anything I can do, let me know, goodbye.”

  6. When my father was dying the chaplin kept coming around. The strange thing is we ended up talking to her because we didn’t want to hurt her feelings. Is that not the opposite of how things should be? I’m sorry for what you are going through and wish you strength and courage. You seem to have both.

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