Ok – so hopefully not – but recently I came across a blogger who (I think) read Nathan’s story. It clearly left them shaken and I could tell it was one of those things they wished they had never read so they wouldn’t have to think of the possibilities of losing their own children.
I guess after all these years I have become a bit numb to it all. I am also blessed by wonderful friends who take my lead and treat me like any other friend but will also allow me to talk about the realities of losing Nathan. If I scare them, or they feel horribly sorry for me, they do not let that show to me and I appreciate it.
So – I guess I forget how shocking it all can be. I think there are people out there who have never really contemplated losing a child and the thought is horrifying. I remember reading on a parenting board a few weeks before Nathan was diagnosed, about a young child diagnosed with brain cancer. I remember being upset and crying and wondering how someone could bear it. Then it happened to me.
The thing of it is, no matter how bad things get, I personally know people who have it worse than me. Imagine my situation, but also imagine a parent who has left the picture. Imagine losing more than one child or losing a husband and a child.
I guess I will go back to my world with my normal. I just forget sometimes how abnormal my life is!