Monthly Archives: October 2006


I have failed to mention that Lauren has started walking. She will take off and walk a few feet and then sit down. It is by no means her primary mode of getting around but it will be soon. She will be a year old in a few weeks. Eek! my last baby is not going to be a baby for too long.

This reminds me…

I was having a talk with Nathan about more serious types of things and I asked him if he was worried about anything. He said that there was one thing he had been thinking about. He said that if I had another baby he was worried that there would not be a bedroom for that baby. I told him not to worry because his Daddy and I were not planning on having any more babies. That was not enough for him. He told me sometimes it could happen anyway. I told him not to worry – that doesn’t happen very often to people (little white lie). Geez.

And no – I am not pregnant. Not even possible.

TV free life

Normally I watch alot of TV. That is what I do with my evenings. The new season started in September and so there are alot of shows to watch.

The first night we were in the Ronald McDonald House I tried to watch TV on a little handheld TV. The reception and sound were too crummy. The next night I tried to have the TV on quietly but it was too distracting for Lauren and Nathan to sleep with it on.

So – I haven’t really watched any TV (beside hours and hours of Boomerang and Cartoon Network) since before Labor Day.

I don’t miss it nearly as much as I thought I would. I wonder about some of the shows. I know my TIVO will contain a few episodes (but not all of the weeks I have missed).

I DO miss having a life after 9:00 pm. Sitting in a dark room reading a book with a booklight or using my computer in the dark is not my idea of fun.

That said – I fully intend to go back to my TV watching when I am back home again.

If this is 49, what does 50 look like?

I am blogging a dream….more for my benefit than my readers I think.

I walk into a hotel with some wealthy person. The people in the hotel apologize profusely that room 50 is not available but take us instead to room 49. We walk in and it is palatial. The floor and walls are marble with the ceiling several stories high. The main room is the size of a football field. There are stairs everywhere. One stairway leads past a very fancy swimming pool. We keep touring until we find we have exited to the street. We are in NYC and we had left our Maclaren stroller while we have been inside. Someone has taken ff the wheels and is replacing them with plastic wheels the same blue color as the stroller. There is apparently quite a bustling black market for Maclaren stroller wheels. We catch him in the act and he puts the wheels back.

The dream ends there because I am awoken by a crying baby at 4:30 am.

Anesthesia Joke

Nathan: I know why it is called propofol !
Me: Why?
Nathan: because when they give it to you it makes you FALL asleep and then you wake up and try to walk and you FALL down.

I had Nathan tell the anesthesiologist who said it was her first propofol joke. It is cuter coming out of Nathan because he says “purplefall” instead of “pro.poe.fall”


How does one explain the concept of gravity to a child?

Nathan got platelets on Sunday. Here in NY they do not use IV pumps for platelets since they do not want to lose any of them. They actually used that IV rack hanging on a track on the ceiling. I have never seen one of those used in all these years.

Nathan wanted to know how the IV could work without a pump so it was time for a lesson on gravity.

I’m starting to get sick of all thing medical (no pun intended). I guess living at the Ronald McDonald House doesn’t let me get away from it like I do at home when I can fell that I have a normal life from time to time.

I had to share…

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Goodbye Nevaeh

Luke and Julia got home from New York this afternoon. He told me I had a message from a fellow NB mom to call her. She and I have been chatting now again since both of our children have relapsed and we live in the same town.

A few weeks ago she told me they had decided not to pursue further treatment. I asked her what led her to be able to make that decision because it is something I have been thinking about for the future. She was very open and shared with me all the reasons.

So – I am still in NYC and so I went online to view today’s paper and was dismayed to see Neveah’s obituary. When I heard I had a message I suspected it meant she had died but at the same time I wasn’t expecting it. I was far more upset than I had anticipated. Her funeral is tomorrow and so I will wait until Thursday to call. I haven’t a clue what I will say.

I wish I could be at the funeral and give her mom a hug.

I have never been to a funeral. Can you believe that? I have now missed two funerals that I thought I would attend if the day occurred. I fear that my very first funeral will be that of my child…in fact it almost seems destined to be that way…

To close – here is her obituary

Reality sets in

I am starting to get a little depressed about our long haul in NYC. I mean, we had a days notice to get here and I had a return ticket in 10 days. Now I am here at least through the last week in October and if things go well – into November.

It is great that Luke and Julia are here. It will be hard to see them leave. Luke was able to pack more clothes for me and Nathan but I hadn’t quite looked at the calendar to see that I could be here in November. I guess I will need more than 3 long-sleeved shirts.

I got some retail therapy today at an Aerosoles store at least. Gap is in my future as well. Lauren has so nice new duds courtesy of Baby Gap. I would not have spent that much on her (or me) at home but I am feeling entitled. Plus there is that whole thing of the more money you are spending the easier it is to keep spending.

I feel like life is going on without me at home and that I am in suspended animation. How will I ever get back into the swing of things? I already feel like some kind of alien among all the humans and when I get back it is really going to be exaggerated. If I do get home the first week of November it will most likely be for only one week. Part of me thinks that will be harder than staying. It helps if I try not to think of home.

So – do me a favor and relish the school drop-off and grocery shopping in a store with normal size carts for me next week.