Yep that’s me.
We had two different treatment scenarios for Nathan today. The first half of the day we were going to New York next week. The second half of the day we were staying here and doing some scary/harsh chemo for Nathan. Contemplating both things has left me done. In fact I had a beer for dinner and it as affected me like it was a double shot of whiskey.
Add this to my constant question of how you deal with a child who you know is going to die sometime in the next few months/years but is not “dying” and is in fact feeling great. How do you live with that? I guess what I have come up with is what we have been doing all along. Just try to live life as normally as possible. It really is the everyday little things in life that matter. My victory over this beast is to live the best most life I can which will give Nathan a childhood as close to “normal” as is possible. That said – it takes more effort than you all can imagine to do that.
To that end we went off to the swimming pool and I left Luke manning the phone to talk to the oncologist about Nathan’s plan. The kids had a blast. Sure – Nathan stood out with the whole lack of hair thing – but he didn’t even see the stares.